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[xinxiu24]

I moved into a new office recently and was unpacking when I realized I was fading fast and needed a caffeine fix. Seems my Starbucks cappuccino machine had gotten lost with the movers. I panicked.


"Now what?" I thought. I had never gone a full afternoon without a latte. I knew something would happen if I didn't get one John Terry Chelsea Jersey , and it would probably be the kind of thing that would come up with my therapist, so skipping my caffeine fix was not an option. I already had two pages of issues we were covering. I guess the unpacking would have to be put on hold.


I set my Starbucks radar on full alert and followed the trail of casual business attire. Sure enough, two blocks later I found a Starbucks on the corner. As I pulled open the door, a tiny gentleman whisked in under my arm. And that is how I met Mr. Pibs.


Mr. Pibs had been coming to that particular Starbucks since it opened. Every afternoon about the same time as my current 'mind fade,' he too needed a fix. We got our coffees and made our way to the comfy chairs.


Mr. Pibs told me he was in wholesale pet supplies and owned his own manufacturing facility. He started up 25 years ago with a tiny shop in his garage and now leased a 200,000 square foot facility and employed over fifty workers. We sipped our coffees and chatted about business. I asked him how he marketed his products to potential retail outlets.


"We have a subscriber-based mailing list," he said. "About 2500 quality pet stores across the US."


I was impressed! 2500 leads does not sound like much but these stores had asked to be contacted. The stores were real, potential buyers looking for product. "So do you keep in touch monthly or do you find seasonal works better?" I casually asked.


"Monthly!" Mr. Pibs exclaimed in horror. "That would be $50,000 of postage a year! No, we send our full color brochure on an annual basis, costs us about $4000 in mailing fees. I pull a few ladies off the assembly line and get them licking stamps and stuffing envelopes. We've been doing our marketing like this since the second year we started. Sure is great that printing is a lot cheaper these days. Saves us a bundle!"


I gagged on the foam in my cup and felt a familiar feeling come over me. Before I knew it I was standing and waving my arms around my head in large circles.


"Mr.Pibs, are you insane?" I yelled at the top of my lungs, and started to rant, arms waving. "What marketing cave did you just crawl out of? Why not put your catalogue online? Why not use a regular Email Marketing campaign to keep in touch with the pet stores on a regular basis? Are you anti-technology? Why are on earth are you sending all that stuff by mail?.." And then I realized I hardly knew this man and was basically telling him he was a buffoon. But I didn't have time to compose myself because at that very moment, when I was in mid-sentence of my Email Marketing rant, in walked my grandmother.


Crap! I had forgotten Grammy was going to meet me at my new office! She quickly spotted me and made a beeline in my direction. As she got closer I noticed she had a very odd looking hat on her head. It was all bumpy and sort of looked like a bag. I noticed a familiar looking label:


Victoria's Secret.


Since when did Victoria's Secret make hats?


But I did not have time to ask, I had to make Grandma think we were supposed to meet at the Starbucks and I also had to make up quick with Mr. Pibs before my new friend thought I was a lunatic.


I turned to Mr.Pibs, and noticed he was frozen, mouth hanging open in shock at my Email Marketing, arm waving, soapbox speech.


Grandma grabbed the vacant seat next to Mr. Pibs and plopped herself down, scooching her behind, desperately trying to get it past the arm rests.


Mr. Pibs thawed and whispered in horror, "That women has a pair of underwear -- on her head."


And sure enough my Grandmother did indeed have a pair of Victoria's Secret underwear on her head, covering up a mass of curlers.


I gasped.


"Child," my grandmother said, "I have been looking everywhere for you!" Noticing Mr. Pibs, and unaware he and I had been having a conversation, Grandma looked a little alarmed at my tiny frozen friend. No surprise; the lack of color in his face was hard to miss. "Tiny man," she said, "You look ill, is the coffee too strong for your tiny stomach?"


"Grandma," I spoke slowly, turning toward Mr. Pibs. "This is my new friend, Mr. Pibs." Then: "Mr. Pibs, I apologize for my Email Marketing rant, this is my Grammy. We had a coffee date this afternoon."


My grandmother stretched out her hand in a gesture of welcome. Mr.Pibs sat still, staring at my grandmother's hair curler cover."Woman, why is there underwear on your head?"


"Oh this?" she said, as she whipped off the over-stretched skivvies, uncovering an array of pink and white curlers. "These are old and all stretched out of shape from too many years on the rear. This pair works great to keeps my curlers in place. I upgraded to organic cotton underwear years ago."


And with that we, or rather Grandma and Mr. Pibs, laughed and chatted away the afternoon. Those two hit it off so well I found myself a little bored. Just as well, I could not get Mr. Pibs''marketing strategy' out of my mind.Well, at least the US postal service would not go out of business anytime soon with Mr. Pibs around. I sat there watching those two laugh it up, and shook my head in disbelief at my grandmother's Victoria's Secret curler coverer. Mr. Pibs' marketing strategy was a lot like those underwear. Old, out of shape, and all sagged out.

Johan Santanas Season May.